i ownz ensurantz compinny?

I feel very unknowledgeable about the true import of what is going on in the US economy this week ... wade in if you dare ...

So the news is telling me that the Fed finally decided to bail out AIG. I assume most people have not heard of AIG until recently, but it is one of the top 25 companies, in size, in the entire world, and the largest insurance company in the U.S. (not sure who is bigger worldwide, but AIG is one of the biggest).

And in return for a line of credit up to $85 billion, the Federal Reserve Bank now owns 79.9% of AIG. The press releases don't say it quite this way -- but we have nationalized this company. what the hell is going on?

Among the questions that occur to me is why Chapter 11 bankruptcy (a reorganization bankruptcy - you keep operating subject to bankruptcy law protections from creditors, like the airlines have done many times) was not acceptable for AIG?

Do we get to fire those in charge of AIG now, and take back their surely huge corporate bonuses, or cut their salaries?

according to one article, one analyst says this "not a nationalization because the Fed does not intend to run AIG. The Fed will get a profit on this, which it should." so, we own 80% of AIG, but don't intend to have any say in how it is run?

Is this like the (much smaller) 1979 bailout of Chrysler, which this conservative org. article from 1983 lambasted?

I am trying to figure out how these recent government decisions from people supposedly dedicated to the free market (including the retaking of Fannie and Freddie) are not socialism. (opinion piece here from unvetted source - "the New American?" - that seems to agree) McCain can say nationalized insurance for health care would be bad, but we just nationalized the largest insurance company we have!

ETA: Even that idiot Jonah Goldberg at The Corner doesn't seem enthused about the buyout.

Update: Andraluvs2sing Has Balls

In my last post, I laid out the evidence that andraluvs2sing (aka Andra Hoelsted) was fictional viral marketing for something. And it was.

After Andra resolved in the last week to do something about this alleged teacher taking advantage of her friend, she dropped the bomb yesterday captured above: "We accidentially cut off our teachers nuts."

Whoa! You gotta laugh at that. Also up is Andra's latest youtube video, a trailer for the movie "On The Doll", which deals with amazing things such as detached nuts, apparently.



In fact, the deballing clip is online, if you dare to learn that testicles can indeed be removed "accidentally":



The movie has a YouTube Channel, with trailers posted. (Some have inflated view counts using the same techniques that Andra used.) According to the wikipedia page for the movie, a surely unbiased article written by the director, On the Doll is:

a very dark and intense dramatic feature film directed and written by acclaimed music video director Thomas Mignone [who has directed a huge ass number of heavy metal type band's videos.] .... The film's title comes from the phrase "Show me on the doll where you were touched" often asked of young children who have been the victims of sexual abuse. "On The Doll" has a limited theatrical release in the United States, as well as a continuously growing popularity upon its DVD and online release due to several unexpected and highly graphic scenes.

Oh, and it was released on DVD yesterday. (Handy link to amazon, only $26.99). What a coincidence!

Presumably facebook, kari sweets, and illumistream were recruited to help promote the movie. Maybe the gal who plays andra is in the movie? I don't know.

So, some kudos are due to Thomas Mignone and his crew for a well-planned hoax. Uh ... I mean viral marketing campaign. It didn't go super-viral like the Wii Fit Girl (which wasn't planned viral marketing anyway), but most of these attempts to go viral don't spread that far anyway, or at least its hard to measure their effect.

Andraluvs2hoax: Another fake viral video thingie

So, I stumbled across Andraluvs2sing today, aka Andra Hoelsted, aka the latest youtube fictional / fake / hoax floating around the internet. Not that I really get riled up about these faux 'next big things.' In fact, I find them fascinating. But I wonder what the purpose of this one is.

Andraluvs2sing started her youtube channel on April 23, 2008. She posted, that same day, a video of her purportedly singing as a youngster. It has 23,000 views and 1 comment, and the functionality to see where external links to youtube are coming from is disabled. Hmmm ....

Andra's next three vids show that she's a very poor guitar player, but a very attractive young woman. Practicing A New Song has already racked up an impressive 292,743 views, but only 26 comments (and again, any external links data is disabled.) But one commenter explains the high view count: "this video is showing automatically on facebook, that's why!"

Although Andra is hawtt, surely this video wasn't featured by facebook on its merit.

Then, a la lonelygirl15, Andra starts some drama. On May 16, she posted a 21 second clip "does your teacher act like this with students?!!". This purports to show some questionable behavior of one of her teachers in a car with a fellow female student. Of course, she wants youtubers advice on what to do. This vid currently has 695,814 views & 121 comments, a suspicious ratio. In the comments, a few people do smell a fake, though most of the others are trying to give Andra advice.

Um, tell the principal? Have a threesome? Which one will get more youtube views?

So, about a week later, Andra posted a vid of advice she received from another young beauty, a Kari Sweets. "Kari Sweets Advice LEAVE COMMENT!". Whaaa? apparently Sweets is a "minor internet porn starlet" of the Maxim type (i.e., not 100% nude). And while its not only odd that some Internet-famous chick would post a video response to this girl's car stalking video, its also very odd that Andra posted it on her own channel, instead of this appearing on some channel claiming to be Kari Sweets' youtube channel (if she has one). (There's also another video of Kari talking about the situation on some other youtube channel.)

Then, yesterday (june 5), youtube channel illumistream, which is a commercially done production that has been having great youtube success lately by posting short videos of "sex advice" with hawtt thumbnails, also posted the same kari sweets video that Andra did, calling it "Not Your Average Sex Celebrity Tape" (except with a lurid thumbnail added).

Illumistream's Video Description: The Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian sex tapes became Internet sensations -- but this isn't THAT kind of sex tape. Kari Sweets takes a break from her on-line modeling career to give some advice to Andra Hoelsted on her unfortunate situation.
The whole story broke when Andra told everything on her blog, http://andraluvs2sing.wordpress.com. Watch the video to get Kari's perspective - and support Andra's friend by visiting the blog:
http://andraluvs2sing.wordpress.com

Surely that's enough for anyone to realize its a hoax.

But, like any good fictive viral story, Andra's faux existence is not confined to youtube. She also has a wordpress blog, which is telling the story of her attempt to become a successful musician. This involves her realizing she can't play guitar for shit, but luckily she has met up with some guitarist ... do i smell a band forming?

And, of course she has a facebook, and a myspace, and even a digg account, where her only submission has been to digg this Amazing New Female Artist ... well, golly gee, its digging herself!

The backstory among these sites gives her full name as Andra Hoelsted, of Charlotte, North Carolina. The pictures you can find on her myspace / blog / digg are all very professional looking (and never have anyone else in them other then her).

So, its another another fictional viral thingie. But why? And who's the girl?

UPDATE - June 18, 2008: See new post, its marketing for a movie called "On the Doll."

Ten Lonely Songs About Chocolate And Girls

Behold the musical video presentation above of "Ten Lonely Words" by Julie Ocean. This song kicks ass. Play it at the beach, in the car, in your prison cell (HI MOM!), or whereever you are.

I had a dream that I heard this on the radio after that 'shawty got low' drivel.

Buy their debut album "Long Gone And Nearly There"! (Julie Ocean's that is, not Flo-Rida's). It's on emusic, among the other usual places.

Star Jones and Tsunamis

Big news today.

Star Jones is getting divorced. OMG! (if people even know who she is). (Defamer.com: No Reason Yet Given In Star Jones's Divorce From Gay Husband.)

Star Jones reminds me very much of the internet pre-YouTube.

On December 26, 2004, you may recall that a large earthquake rocked the Indian Ocean, causing a tsunami responsible for many deaths from flooding in Indonesia, Thailand, Sri Lanka, etc. It was a terrible tragedy, one for which Indian Ocean countries (as opposed to Pacific Ocean countries) were ill-prepared.

Places struck by the tsunami included Phuket, Thailand, a resort area frequented by many Europeans. A number of vacationers took videos of the event as it happened, and they started to appear online soon in the days following the disaster.

I found watching these riveting for some reason. I knew it was kind of "wrong", but I also wanted to understand in some small way how it happened and the fear people must have felt. People a world away from me in many ways, but still, as John Green would say, there is no them, there are only facets of us.

But there was no YouTube.

It was difficult to locate and stream these videos, and some sites crashed from the traffic. While we take it for granted today that video of any disaster or mishap will be on YouTube, this is the first time I recall such widespread distribution (though straining the internet) of tragedy footage.

Some of those videos I recall now appear on youtube:



Another One. A Third One.

So, back to Star Jones. Star Jones reminds me of all this because a few days after the tragedy, she talked on the View (the morning U.S. talk show) about how she had just been in the area -- like a month before -- for her honeymoon. The wedding had been highly publicized by her, and she was milking that wedding for all it was worth. (Apparently 3 years.)

As The Daily Show reported at the time: "Star Jones is eternally grateful that God chose to spare her life in exchange for those of 160,000 others in Sri Lanka and Indonesia."



And whaddya know. The first video ever posted on youtube arrived on April 23, 2005. Three years ago today. Star Jones probably arranged for it.

That's Impossible!, or, I Can't Believe It Was A Hoax!

The collective inability of the internet to engage in critical thinking was proven true again for the 453,342nd time, with a story that Yale student Aliza Shvarts was all set to debut her "art project" consisting of serially inseminating herself and then inducing abortions over a nine month period. And it only gets worse and more bizarre from there. The untold angle is that the Yale Daily News was completely duped by this young woman, and deserves its fair share of the blame/credit.



Its all over the internet, of course, and I made a long forum post on the controversy at Anchor Cove.

Let's Kill Cats

Since blogs are often the offhand personal observations of their authors, its not surprising to see that any mildly interesting article that shows up in the New York Times on a given day is certain to spawn a few short sentences with a link on random blogs. What you might blurt out while sipping your morning coffee ("hmm, oil is more expensive now than velveeta, volume wise") becomes Blogposts that NEED to be shared with the world.

Just goes to show how many Important Blogger Types read the NY Times. That's really sad, though. I mean, the NY Times is just one of many hundreds of fine world newspapers.

Why don't people go all crazy for today's article in the Rapid City Journal (South Dakota, USA), "Legislator, lion advocate disagree on value of killing cats". Just the title alone should cause snarky and witty commentary across the blogosphere. NY Times-centric bloggers be damned!

Don't Forget Diet Coke

Via Virginia Heffernan's NY Times' Medium Blog, I was led to the amazing research being done at Stuff White People Like.

According to NPR, which is SOOO on the list, the blog (created by white Toronto-to-LA transplant Christian Lander) has created some controversy. Not sure what the controversy is, but some white people are probably dicussing it down at the local Whole Foods while looking over the wine selection.

Self-important white people and many others comment on the story:
Grits&Eggs Blog (Feb.3) (comment says: "I was in an anti-racism training the other day and the white people got really upset when we started talking about "white culture".); Only Baggage You Can Bring Blog (Feb. 13) (sporting the very white titled: "So hilarious you'll wee in your pants"); Wired (Feb. 16) (first major press); Outside The Beltway Blog (Feb. 18) ("Unbearable Whiteness of Blogging"); LAIst (Feb. 19) ("Amazingly, even though the first post went up on January 18th, they're already up to 1,376,177 hits."); Utne Reader (Feb. 20); Kayne West Blog (Feb. 22) ("I am 1 of 2 blacks of the hundred's of white folks in my department. AND THIS SHIT IS SOOOO TRUE."); San Francisco Chronicle (Feb. 23); LA Times (Feb. 25) ("By last week, he was averaging 300,000 daily hits."); The Assimilated Negro (Feb. 25, interview).


Oh, and Mr. Lander's Amazon Reviews page reveals that, apparently, white people like the movie "Pootie Tang."

Just The McFacts

The above picture comes from the bag which comes with a McDonald's Happy Meal. Apparently these bags contains McFacts, without the pesky need for a McFact Checker.

The bag, as you can see, says "Up & Up: You can jump 6 times higher in space!"

WTF? Obviously this refers to the MOON, not space. In space, you could jump forever, and there is no "UP"! How do screwups like this happen? Someone, presumably thought, "oh, space sounds cooler than the moon, let's put that in there! Who cares if that's right!"

Others have noted this problem in the past. ( June 2006 blogpost, Jan 2007 blogpost 1, Jan 2007 blogpost 2 - the comments on this last one say don't make a big deal over a typo! Oh, yeah, I'm sure that's a valid excuse on the AP Physics exam as well.)

OK, so this error has been publicly noticed on the internet for over 18 months. But apparently McDonald's sees no reason to correct blatant errors being presented to children as scientific fact. And don't think kids don't absorb this stuff either. Sometime in the future, they will spout out this McFact, not knowing where it came from, and be very confused to be wrong. They will then question their entire knowledge base. In a few years, some will no longer think they are "college material." But, hey, McDonald's will be hiring!

Proving Scientology Wrong

So, I have been a bit intrigued, to say the least, about the recent protests by the group "Anonymous" against the Church of Scientology. It all got stirred up after the recent crazed video of Tom Cruise promoting Scientology started spreading across the internet, with Scientologists making copyright infringment claims to stall its viral spread on YouTube. "Anonymous" then posted some heavily viewed videos on YouTube promising retribution on February 10. News stories from mainstream media, including The Economist (Jan. 31), National Public Radio (Feb. 7), Newsweek (Feb. 8), and elsewhere, stirred an increasing frenzy.

Then, yesterday (Feb. 10, 2008), starting in New Zealand and Australia and continuing around the world, protesters turned out at Scientology church locations. Often whimsical, but sprinkled with serious foot soliders and serious messages, Anonymous simply proved what everyone pretty much already knows: Scientology is a joke.

That's why signs that said "Honk if you hate Scientology" or similar at protests were quite popular around the world. For example, in Boston:

The curtains of the Scientology building at 448 Beacon St. were drawn during most of yesterday's protest, but a video camera sticking out of a top floor window filmed the protesters as they begged motorists to "honk if you hate Scientology." Many drivers responded to the signs, creating a deafening roar with cars, taxi and fire trucks horns.

And Los Angeles:

The protests were peaceful and colorful, with music and chanting (often: "Religion is free -- No Pay Per View" -- a reference to an alleged tiered system whereby the religion's adherents must pay money to gain spiritual clarity). A near constant stream of horn honks provided the background noise as cars passed the Scientology center on Sunset Boulevard and continued as the mob moved to the so-called Celebrity Center on Hollywood Boulevard. At least one ambulance and several fire department vehicles honked as they passed.

In most every city, Scientology tried to retaliate by having their lackeys photograph and video protesters, most of whom were wearing disguises. But that kind of heavy handedness doesn't impress young internet-generation types. They are jaded to all that, and now all these scientologists snapping pictures are themselves now in pictures all over the internet.

Personally, I enjoyed some of the very creative signs that folks came up with:






















See also: WikiNews Photo Gallery and Site by Site Summary

There are also videos all over youtube from the protests. Here's an amusing early one from Sydney where the crowd cheers "Hubbard's a Wanker":


More ridiculous is the fact that Scientology was "rick rolled" at many of the protests. Like in Washington, D.C.:

See also London Rick Roll; Seattle Rick Roll. (This is beyond crazy. Mocking Scientology with Rick Astley. There is an even less known version of this tactic featuring Will Smith's Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Craziness!)

So what does all this mean for Scientology, if anything? In many ways, this Anonymous protest was simply just a worldwide flash mob. A big in-joke. But, on the other hand, I would think that future potential Scientology members are going to hear about this protest. They will see the videos of people protesting around the world and endless cars honking their support -- these honkers are the normal people in this world. The people who won't get off the couch to do much of anything, and are just busy living their own lives, but they know bullshit when they see it. Maybe some of the future recruits will decide to stay away when Tom Cruise beckons.



Will Scientology lose its tax exempt status? Will it be destroyed? Doubtful. But will the CoS be unable to prove to anyone that its even remotely cool to think Scientology is legit? Very possibly.

As a larger matter, the ability of thousands of people to quickly organize without any recognizable leadership and pull off a worldwide protest like this is truly amazing. Think of what good could be done in the world if the everyday folks of the internet generation spent a few hours a month on such causes. Amnesty International's main weapon to fight human rights abuses is simply letter writing -- letting governments know that people notice what they are doing and don't like it. And sometimes, it works. Imagine what Anonymous can accomplish with their drive, snark, and the occassional Rick Roll.

The Interregunum Ends / Music Prevails

Soooo...

I used to discuss other subjects on this blog. I can't really even recall what they were, though I suppose you can find it in the archives. But it's music for now. Videos (with accompanying mp3s when available) for the songs you must have to make your soul complete.

The Go! Team - Doing It Right

Doing it Right is from Proof of Youth, the 2nd album from Brighton, England's Go! Team, released this past September. Not a huge departure from 2004's Thunder Lightning Strike, its still an awesome mix of indie and dance sensibilities with unbridled joy to get you groovin'. And my 7-year old son pronounced it his new favorite song yesterday. I think the schoolyard-sounding sing along part won him over.

You can download an mp3 of Doing It Right here, courtesy of the fine mp3 blog Can You See The Sunset From The Southside.

Links of Note:
Go! Team on wikipedia.
Official Band Site
The obligatory band myspace page
What Pitchfork told you to think about Proof of Youth (Rating 7.2)
What PopMatters told you to think

---

ETA: 2/11/2008: Well, I can see I have no inspiration to really be an mp3 blogger. Scratch that idea.

Goodbye

I'd rather Bree had left defiantly.

"Don't leave the key underneath the mat for me, cause I won't be coming back around here."

LG15 Season One Finale Tomorrow (Friday Aug 3, 2007)

The "new art form" has a new twist: It's 12 videos in 12 hours. It starts tomorrow, Friday August 3 at 8am Pacific Time (that's 11am East Coast US Time, and 4pm London).



Most people who read this blog may possibly know about lonelygirl15, so I'm not going rehash any of that here. Here is a "recap" (read: "psuedo movie trailer") that was released yesterday. It's a slick 7-minute "what's happened so far" kinda thing.


Prediction: I'm gonna be sad when Bree's head gets chopped off by the Order and rolls right into her Logitech Orbit Webcam.

Also intriguing is the fact that the finale is going to be appear exclusive on Myspace. Myspace, you say? Doesn't lonelygirl15 show up on youtube? Or is it revver? Or is that lonelygirl15.com? Yes, all of that is true. But apparently the finale is going to myspace. NewTeeVee has the story.

Thoroughly Post-Modern Bree?: How to Watch Lonelygirl15 Now

After taking a sabbatical from Lonelygirl15, Terryfic returns in this guest blog to find that he now views Bree & Co. through a delightful new lens.

by Terryfic

It’s July, and Lonelygirl15 has enchanted me all over again.

But not quite to the point that I’m ready to break out into song.

After a long break from watching LG I have now finally caught up, and despite swearing up and down when I left that I was done with the show for good and that a simple break wouldn’t allow me to enjoy the show again, I have to say – LG15 is the very model of a popular YouTube auteur.

I’m not sure if my break simply reset my fan cycle, and after a few more weeks I will again grow frustrated and disheartened with the show. Or it could just be, that in my summer entertainment-starved state (where I find myself enjoying Dr. Who far too much) my expectations are so low that LG seems wonderful again.

But I think the big difference was my realization that LG isn’t a mystery or drama as it is usually billed: it's a comedy.

As a pure drama it is slow, frustrating, and nonsensical. It would be difficult to argue it wasn’t a complete failure.

As a comedy it is quick witted, snappy, ironic, comically absurd and at times oddly informative.

I rejoined LG at episode 148 – Beach Bum. This was shortly after Jonas was tied up and before Aunt Alex entered the show. About five videos into where I started watching again was the video where Bree goes off and trains with Tachyon. I think it was this video that cemented the idea of LG as a comedy rather than a drama. In it Bree constantly jokes about not being cut out to be a ninja and in general doesn’t take the situation very seriously. She suddenly reminded me of a very post modern character, the kind of person that grew up watching action movies and is aware of how absurd her life has become. The show actually started to remind me a little bit of Bottle Rocket.

Once I changed my point of view about the show and looked at it as a post modern comedy, a lot of my previous gripes suddenly disappeared. It just started to become more and more amusing that the characters didn’t seem to do anything to help their situation or conversely, despite the cryptic clues and ridiculously complex storyline, their only plan of action was to just run in guns blazing with no real plan at all. Jonas and Bree go sight seeing while ‘Action’ Dan (the only one that ever actually does anything) breaks into Alex’s place while joking about it. This all built up to the comic genius which was the kidnapping of Jules, easily one of the funniest episodes in the history of the show. The scene where DB is vlogging and Jules is tied up in the background caused me to almost fall out of my chair laughing.



My new point of view allowed me to not only ignore the absurd, insane actions and motives of the characters, but I began to revel in them. Even the grand question of why are they still making videos suddenly no longer became a problem. LG was a great example of our new post modern technoculture where people no longer write personal correspondence, but instead write mass correspondence. Conversations that use to be private are now done openly via MySpace comments and such. It has even been known for criminals to continue to post on their blogs even while fleeing from the police. I remember how Adrian Lamo famously continued to blog even while the FBI was chasing him for hacking the New York Times. LG has just taken this to its comically absurdist conclusion by still vlogging despite it putting them in obvious danger.

The big problem I see LG facing is the fact that it has become a show without a star. In my opinion Bree was the only character that was able to consistently make captivating solo vlogs. Daniel, Jonas, Sarah and Taylor are all supporting cast, and it looks like the lead has left. I enjoy the ensemble videos, Daniel and Jonas have great chemistry and I Know What Boys Like shows Sarah and Taylor can work quite well together too. But I think the show will always struggle without a strong lead character to rally around.

After all, there is a reason it is called the Breeniverse.

----

Wow. Thanks to Terryfic for reordering my lg15 world. I can't imagine that at least of some of Terry's observations weren't the product of intentional acts on the part of the Creators. And maybe most of them. However, the Creators haven't been able to let us know, or found a way yet, to explicitly signal to us what they are doing. Maybe they haven't realized it themselves, just as many of us have been stuck in the rut of Bree's bedroom. But Terry's new world order recasts many things long thought to be low points in the Breeniverse, like Bree taking Jonas to the vet for treatment of a major wound to his hand. That makes no sense if you hold lg15 to a standard of strict reality, but in terms of Pulp-Fictioneseque surreality, its actually kinda cool.

The Bree Drought: Will It Reach Biblical Proportions?

The last Lonelygirl15 video to feature Lonelygirl15 herself, a.k.a. Bree, a.k.a. actress Jessica Rose, was What the F*@k??? on May 11, 2007. On that day, Bree voluntarily got into a car with the Order. Today is May 21, so it has been 10 days without a sign of Bree.

Breeologists, take note. This is remarkable for at least one reason: it is the longest absence of the show's star ever. The previous longest gap was nine days -- and that was WAY back last summer -- from Grillz on June 25, 2006, until My Parents Suck on July 4. And no videos were released inbetween these two videos. My Parents Suck was the 1st lg15 video to be widely viewed on youtube (and the legend goes that this is when Creator Greg Goodfried called up Creator Miles Beckett and told him it was time for him to quit being a doctor), so its not like too many people took special notice of this drought from the possibly-real Bree at the time.

The creators of lonelygirl15 have indicated before that they intend the show to carry on even if (or when?) Jessica Rose gets too big for her britches and moves on to hollywood stardom. But, were that to happen, it would also be a testament to the success of their creation.

To fill the Breegap, we have new lg15 characters in sisters Sarah and Taylor joining the cast. And they aren't bad actresses AT ALL (in fact, Alexandra Dreyfus (Sarah), and Becky Kregoski (Taylor) both appear quite talented in my opinion). However, their actual connection to the PLOT (whatever that is) is exceedingly thin.

Basically it goes like this: Taylor is a soccer-playing teen located somewhere in the vicinity of Zavalla, Texas, with a faux-emo sex-crazy older sister named Sarah. Taylor vlogged a few times about soccer and an intriguing weird competitive thing between her and her friend Sam (who we never saw) that also involved the influence of Taylor's strict mother. Then, out of the blue, Taylor also told Bree that she thinks she remembers playing soccer against Jules(or Julia), who Nikki Bower had previously suggested (with absolutely no evidence) was likely the New Girl for the Ceremony. (see this prior post for more details on that.)

Following me so far?

So, of course, Bree Daniel and Jonas drive from California to Texas to meet Taylor (and Sarah) at a park, and then proceed to find Julia with their help. Then, the crew kidnaps Julia and ties her up, because that of course is the best way to convince someone that their religion is bad and that they may be picked to do The Ceremony (whatever that is). Then Julia escapes, then they find her near a dumpster (despite houses being all over the place), and then the Order found them (of course), and took Julia. And Bree went with them, but we don't know why (of course).

So, while your head is spinning from all that, you can watch this cute vlog from Taylor and Sarah, called I Know What Boys Like.



The answer, by the way, is Bree. But we'll make do with Sarah and Taylor in the meantime. And if you are pining for Jessica Rose, let's hope you don't have to wait until the July 27th premiere of I Know Who Killed Me (which hopefully is not the title of future Bree vlog, either).

One Year Ago

Over the weekend, a milestone was passed. It has been one year since the Lonelygirl15 account was created on youtube. Of course, "Bree" did not post any videos on May 12, 2006. "Her" first video did not appear until later that month, and Jessica Rose did not protray Bree in her first vlog until June 16, 2006. To me, June 16 is the real first "anniversary" of Bree and Lonelygirl15. But I haven't posted anything in over two weeks. So there you go.

And for readers who didn't know, here is a list of critical links for lonelygirl15 fans:

• LG15 Today Blog. With a wink and a smile, LG15 Today always brings you the latest and greatest in daily lonelygirl15 news. Such as the identity of Sarah, played by 21-year old actress Alexandra Dreyfus. Sarah is a new character on lg15, who we now know is not jailbait in real life, thanks to LG15 Today.
  
  
• LGPedia. The LGPedia is the official, fan-authored, encyclopedia of all things Lonelygirl15. If you are interesting in learning the basic plot of the show so far, check out The Story So Far .... Of, if you want the full story of how the Creators of Lonelygirl15 were discovered, check out Down the Rabbit Hole: The Hunt For Bree.
  
  
• The Official Lonelygirl15 Forum. The official forum for discussion of the show. Note that discussion of individual videos takes places in two places. First in individual threads of The Videos subforum of the forum, and also in the Comment Board, which simply means the main page of the site, which also allows comments to be made below each posted video. While the forum and comment board have some overlapping members, they have their own distinct in-jokes and cultures. Members of the comment board are usually easygoing souls who get drunk on slurpees and grape nehi (don't ask), and use the word "meep" repeatedly (really, don't ask). Members of the forum include fans from all generations and inclinations, from the very devoted, to the very critical.
  
  
• The Children of Anchor Cove Forum This is the primary unofficial forum for discussion of lonelygirl15, as well as other internet episodic series including Prom Queen and Brotherhood 2.0. Anchor Cove was originally formed in September 2006 when early fans of lonelygirl15 left that show's original and failing "phorum", and made a place of their own. This proved helpful when the official forums failed multiple times in light of the intense media exposure which accompanied the "outing" of the Creators of Lonelygirl15. The "Children of Anchor Cove" was the title used by the creators of Lonelygirl15 for their original casting call. Sometimes referred to an "Rancor Cove," the Cove includes a nucleus of early lg15 fans and later adoptees who enjoy absurdly advanced and sometimes harsh discussion of lg15 and other shows. Myself and other Covians are patiently waiting for the convergence of internet video, television, and human DNA. No, it does not involve the Hale-Bopp comet.
  

Smosh Takes YouTube Throne: Google Demands Refund

Dateline .... 1am ET...April 26, 2007:

April 26, 2007 will go down as a very sad day in the history of internet video. Or at least in the history of lonelygirl15. Barring a minor miracle, sometime in the next few hours, Lonelygirl15 will step down from her YouTube throne. Bree, which reached the top spot on YouTube as the most-subscribed channel of all time in September 2006 (displacing the fiery Geriatric1927), will have yielded the top spot to, umm .... Smosh.



What is Smosh? Here is a random blogpost from a few months ago:

(Smosh has) the most discussed video (on Youtube at the time), which is as well ranked as the second most viewed video (of all time) on YouTube, had received a massive total of 22721 comments (as of Nov 2006). These numbers continue to increase everyday and definitely show the popularity of the video.

Nothing exceptional or world-changing occurs in this video though! It is simply two guys, known on YouTube as “Smosh”, parodying the Pokemon Music Video in their bedroom with a lot of exaggerated gestures and funny faces. However, in the YouTube community, this video is a revelation! 'NeoInvader' exclaims, “Legends Pure Legends”, while another remarks, “God, their facial expressions are priceless.”, and some even go further commenting that they have watched the videos a thousand of time “You guys are my heroes!”

I picked that very random blogpost to quote because everyone I can find coherently commenting on Smosh will say something similar. Yes, Smosh is two 19 year old guys from somewhere in the United States who make, well, frankly, not-funny comedy clips. And I don't mean not funny in a bad Saturday Night Live skit kind of way. Well, maybe I do. Time Magazine did dub them the SNL of youtube, in part for their "unswerving, unwinking commitment to idiocy." Like the bad SNL skits at 12:45am that just won't end. But worse.

But quality is of no great importance on YouTube. So, it doesn't make a difference what Smosh uploads, it WILL get hundreds of thousands of views, slavish praise from its fanbase, and perhaps even featured by youtube (the holy grail of exposure). In fact, if one of the Smosh guys made a video of the other one taking a dump ("whew, that smells dude!"), it would no doubt get half a million views. See pic above.

"Aren't Funny, Milo?! How can you honestly say they aren't funny? They won an award for being funny, you hater!"

Yes, yes, yes. Last month, Smosh won the YouTube award for best comedy video in the "First Annual Rigged YouTube Awards." This event was created for more YouTube press, but it was also a chance for the mainstream media to shine its light on the best youtube had to offer. Right?

Well, the spotlight was a little harsh for Smosh:

The Boston Herald (March 28, 2007) wrote:

Best Comedy: “Smosh Short 2” by Smosh - Apparently, YouTube is devoid of comedy. Two teens from California created this, and well, we don’t care how they do it in California.

And an upstate NY paper (March 27, 2007):

YouTube viewers selected seven "winners" for the inaugural YouTube Video Awards recently. For results, go to www.youtube.com/ytawards. Smosh Short 2: Stranded video by Smosh won best comedy when it clearly did not deserve a nomination. It just wasn't funny. "Mixed Nuts" and "Completely Uncalled For"; which finished in second and third, were clearly more comical.

And an Australian rag (March 28, 2007):

Like any awards show, YouTube's were not without controversy. At least one winning video drew the ire of readers and led some to question the competition's legitimacy. Smosh Short 2: Stranded, the winner of the 'best comedy' award, was swamped with negative comments. Some users even went as far as to accuse the creators of stuffing ballots and paying YouTube for the award.

And the NY Times (link now dead) wrote:

Whew, that smells dude! Get off youtube you emo freaks!

OK, so maybe some people (read: smoshkoshb'goshlovers) will disagree with those assessments. But I just don't think its funny. But I'm not one of those people who say "get off of youtube," one of the most ridiculous taunts I've heard since the third grade. I just don't understand their appeal. I'm not going to begrudge anyone who truly finds it funny. I just won't trust their recommendations.

So, What Did Bree Do Wrong?



How could this happen? A few months ago, Lonelygirl15 had a healthy lead over smosh in subscribers. And almost double the number of any other channel on youtube. But, starting sometime in late February, Bree's new subscriptions started to dry up, while Smosh's started to take off. This latter event struck me as suspicious, frankly, but I have no concrete evidence of any cheating.

A number of theories have emerged for why Bree's popularity has stalled or declined:

1. Quality of the Plot: Many speculate that the decline in bree's popularity has to do with the decline in the quality of the plot. Bree took Jonas to the Vet. OK, I generally agree that there has been a decline. But Smosh's quality, well we already discussed that. But Smosh's fans exalt Smosh and bash lg15.

2. Bree's 15 minutes expired. Possible. Though it was much longer than 15 minutes, and its far from over just because Smosh is taking the throne tonight. Bree reigned atop youtube for seven months. That is an ETERNITY in internet time. Plus, numerous lg15 videos in the last few months still have received very respectable view counts.

3. The youtube timewarp: For awhile now, Lonelygirl15 videos have been released on the official Lonelygirl15.com website for a period of time before hitting youtube. The gap started at maybe a few hours. But in the last few months, the gap kept widening until youtube was about 8 videos behind. One might think this would drive more lg15 fans to the official site, but that doesn't seem to have occurred. Instead, core fans started going to the official site exclusively, thus leaving lonelygirl15 on youtube devoid of her biggest protectors. Every big youtuber needs its defense force. So the youtube comment threads for lg15 were overtaken by hatred.

4. People don't like watching episodic video online. This theory is that people would rather watch skateboarding mishaps, 85 ft. basketball shots, or just one-off funny videos on youtube, instead of an episodic series like lonelygirl15. Well, its true that youtube and its clones will always be a place where you can track down 30-second classics like "Girl Poops Pants." But that doesn't mean that an episodic series cannot develop a fanbase. Youtube, however, does next to nothing to foster episodic content. Its design and focus elevates individual videos over series. The new series on Myspace, PromQueen, seems to be having some success in least in part because of Myspace's commitment to developing an audience. YouTube doesn't do that. But it might share ad revenue sometime in the next century.

So, Google paid $1.65 billion for Smosh. And everything else on youtube; Montgomery Mini-Mall commercials, people lighting farts on fire, you name it. And don't get me started on the #3 alltime subscribed channel, miaarose. Um, can Google still get a refund?

Edited to Add, June 9, 2008: This post apparently falls high in Google searches about Smosh. You'll see some people in the comments are upset that I don't like Smosh. Hey, I'm not saying you are not allowed to like them, Tweens Of America. But think for yourself, decide what YOU like. The rest of us are allowed to shake our heads and mutter things about dentures and such if we want.

ETA: Sept. 23, 2008: Is Smosh going down?

Attack of the Breeclones!

The biggest news in Lonelygirl15 world this week is the proliferation of potential Brees, currently descending upon the Breeniverse like a biblical horde of locusts. But, instead of devouring whole crops in front of horrified settlers, this horde is just a bunch of young girls. But one of these girls is the "new girl" chosen by the Order for the dreaded Ceremony. OMG! (Disclaimer: EVERYONE believes The Ceremony should be dreaded, though we have no idea what it is. You must accept that fact, kind readers.)

(Oh, and lots of potential new girls? Yes, yes, many of us see parallels to Buffy Season 7 cropping up, but hopefully all these girls won't be descending on the Breebunker anytime soon for resistance training with Bree or the unseen-character-formerly-known as-Tachyon.)

So, to briefly recap how this development came up, in The Perfect Beach (April 13), a beautiful day for the lg15 cast at a Mexican beach was interrupted by a visit from The Order. Under the duress of Jonas' new gun, Aunt Alex let this zinger slip:

"They don't need you anymore, Bree. ...They have another girl!"

Oh My! Then, on April 16, Nikki Bower posted a video called The Ceremony Girl where she claims to have located this alleged new girl, aka CallMeJules24 on youtube, or Julia. While Julia's two videos to date are clearly suspicious and emit at least some faint lg15 canon smoke, Nikki B. has never been confirmed as canon by the Creators. In fact, when this blog identified the actress who plays Nikki B. back in January 2007, Nikki made the following comment on the official lg15 forum:

Just for the record, I am not canon. I am a fan just like all of you. While I do have anonymous sources and tipsters, I am truly investigating as one of you would.

So, with that backstory, it was not clear from Nikki's video whether or not miss jules was intended to be official or what. Could the world continue revolving with such tension?

Apparently not. Speculation evaporated the next day when Bree posted a video called New Girl which (1) referred to Nikki B. for the first time (and a reference by Bree is how Gemma and Jonas were first canonized), and (2) speculated about whether Jules is the new ceremony girl or not--and Bree needs our help to figure it out, people!!!



So, anyhow, along with Julia, crack lg15 sleuthers have identified a plethora of other suspicious videos from more young girls who appear to be candidates for lg15 canonhood/the Ceremony (shiver!). Some people like this, because they don't like Jules and hope someone else becomes a more established character in the cast. But some people like it because it is total enjoyable pandemonium to see all these girls (and note, most of them do appear to be under 18) vying to potentially become part of the lg15 cast.

Luckily, the LGPedia has compiled a list of all the candidates so far with useful links to videos, myspaces, and the like. Some of these girls are likely fanfiction, others are uncertain. Aside from Jules, Soccerstar aka Taylor seems to be a good candidate to be a production sanctioned by the Creators. Perhaps the Creators will choose "the new girl" based on fan input? It's an intriguing idea, at the very least.

Who will be the new girl? Stay tuned.

Break out your Alphaville CD: It's time for PromQueen

PromQueen is a new internet video series produced by the folks who brought us SamHas7Friends. But this time, instead of producing a very slick show for only $50,000 -- they are backed by Michael Eisner, former Disney head honcho, and his new internet-video venture "Vuguru." (By the way, don't you love names like this -- you know some marketing dude dreamed that up. "It like 'guru', and 'vu' like 'views'! Ka-ching! Success is inevitable!").

The show is set to debut on April 2, but press releases yesterday hint that episodes will debut about 12 hours earlier on the show's myspace. So set your clock for 7pm ET (GMT -4) on April 1. And its not like it will take up a bunch of your time. Like SamHas7Friends, PromQueen will run for 80 episodes of 90 seconds each. It's an intriguing format that is perfect for today's ADD teens and average internet viewers. Adding some interactivity, each of the characters already have their own myspaces, ready to befriend you. I mean, who doesn't want to be "top friends" with lead PQ babe "Nikki"? Who cares if you're a 45-year old inmate and its illegal to be her Myspace friend.

In short, PromQueen is the first big-budget attempt to recreate lonelygirl15's success. That's a big deal. But the camera shots will be more like traditional TV; this is not a fictional vlogging experiment like Lonelygirl15. In fact, Eisner seems irritated by that knee-jerk press analogy. From a Wired interview:

WN: OK, then, how close is it to Lonelygirl15?

Eisner: (exasperated sigh) It isn't close to that at all -- that's one person talking into the camera. This is a story-driven, character-driven emotional mystery.

WN: You really balked at the comparison to Lonelygirl. Why?

Michael Eisner: Hey, I balk at any comparison to anything. It's creative content -- saying that it's like something is usually the kiss of death. I never even thought of either of those two (shows). Really, that's the first I've heard of a similarity with the two. Prom Queen is like what it is.

Profound, Eisner. We won't compare it Family Ties, either. So, tune in. Let's see whether this thing flies. They already got sponsors and product placements it appears. All they need is Alphaville's "Forever Young" playing and some warm Zima, and they got it made.

P.S. If you want to discuss PromQueen in depth as it unfolds (and who doesn't yearn to be an internet video analyst a la Chuck Klosterman, who has spent more time deconstructing Saved By The Bell than any person alive), be sure to check out the Anchor Cove forums. The show will also have its own official forum up in a few days.

Brotherhood 2.0: Unholy Child of NPR and YouTube

Brotherhood 2.0 just may be the most entertaining vlogging experiment of all time. On December 31, 2006, Brothers John Green (an award-winning author of young-adult novels) and Hank Green (head of ecogeek.org) took a pledge (perhaps written in blood, but I am not sure about that) to cease all text-based communication for the year 2007. Instead, they have been posting videoblogs daily, trading off each weekday. And if a brother fails to meet his daily posting obligation, or forgetfully writes to the other brother (as John heinously did done once by way of a cc email), some sort of crazy punishment is imposed.

The results are entertaining, often quite funny, and always intelligent. While vlogging is not new, the Brothers Green infuse it with new life. They take the vlogging format--something primarily developed and defined by the youth culture at youtube---and combine it with the intelligence and rigor of your typical NPR (National Public Radio in the U.S.) All Things Considered fare. Yes, its the unholy child of NPR and YouTube, and its great.

Here's a random episode, where on February 21, 2007, John compares M.T. Anderson's novel Feed to the concept of having a whole Wikipedia in your brain.



All the videos (and most of the comments by the audience) are available at http://www.brotherhood2.com, as well as on their Vlogbrothers channel at YouTube.

The popularity of the series has already inspired Brotherhood2.0 fan and notable YouTuber Terryfic to create a tribute video to the show in the style of the opening credits of an 80's sitcom. If that doesn't intrigue you to start watching, I don't know what will.